The woman I am today is a long way from the girl who was unsuspectingly groomed by a man or who lied to try and keep up a "good" persona. I have so much life experience, good bad or indifferent, I have lived and grown. I have to acknowledge where I was wrong and where it was my fault, so I can see the good and be free.
Today, I'm reviewing the second book I finished in my book challenge. It's called Letters to Saint Lydia by Melinda Johnson. Okay, not going to lie... I read this book in 5.5, maybe 6, hours on the same day I finished The Holy Angels and LOVED every minute of it. Yes I was then up way too late and was very tire the next morning, but I still think it was worth it.
Earlier this week my Aunt departed this earthly life. She had only been really sick for a few short weeks, we knew she was in rough shape but had hoped her strength would pull her through. So even though we knew it was a possibility is a little warning that someone may die ever enough?
While I may not know a lot about parenting and take most decisions one day at a time, I am so happy that Ian and I went all out this year. Even if it was just for a moment, we filled John's world with dinosaurs and made a dreams come true.
Remembering all this reminds me of the wonderful life Lily had and how blessed I was that I got to experience it with her. She was with me for every up and down in my life for nearly 9 years, even though I have a lot of people in my corner, she knew just as much about me as all of them.
In the past 10 years, being neighborly has changed, while I know I have cut myself off from getting too close to anyone, it is an epidemic. People can tell you more about Google and the news from far away lands, but can't tell you the names of the people who live right next door.
Today I would like to talk about a very personal struggle I have had in my adulthood. While I actually find that most conversations around this topic are deep and meaningful, there is also a stigma about it and I am cautious to bring it up. Ian and I have suffered multiple miscarriages. It is hard and sad and I am not looking for pity, but am wanting to open the conversation up for those going through similar pain.
Even when things may not be perfect or go as planned, every moment is the perfect time to make a memory.
In this exercise, I discovered how incredibly fun and enlightening it can be to read just snippets of the bible. Sometimes it is all really daunting to me and I have to put the good book to the side for a while. In just looking for one verse, I read from several books I have not made it to and in some cases read much more that just the intended verse, because I felt drawn in. It wasn't daunting, I knew I could stop at any time and I didn't have to read a whole book. It was so refreshing.
I love my dad. He is a great man, kind, caring and loves his family deeply, though sometimes you have to read between the lines because we (my mom, sister and I) talk about the dark cloud he has over his head. It's not that he is depressed, sad or mopey, but he is realistic about the bad as much as the good.